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The Statler Brothers Lyrics
"How to Become a Country Star"

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There's questions we're always hearing every where we go
Like how do I cut a record or get on a country show
Well, it takes more than just ambition and three chords on an old guitar
There's a few more thing you ought to learn to be a country star.

You have to learn to sing like Waylon or pick like Jerry Reed
Yodel like Jeannie Shepard write songs like Tom T
Put a cry in your voice like Haggard learn Spanish like Johnny R
Whisper like Bill Anderson and you'll be a country star.

Play piano like Ronnie Milsap or Gilley or Jerry Lee
Yo-yo like Roy Acuff or talk plain like Ralph Emery
Growl like Conway Twitty get a red white and blue guitar
Build a swimming pool like Webb did and you'll be a country star.

Be tall like Sonny James or tell jokes like Minnie Pearl
Be short like Jimmy Dickens or play five-string like Earl
Get a headband like Willie learn to stutter like M-Mel
Get a cap like Roy Clark wore or a voice like Barbara Mandrell.

Be rich like Eddy Arnold say you're making more than you are
Get a gimmick like Charley Pride got and you'll be a country star.

But if you have no talent and you're not a male
If you're built somewhat like Dolly or have a face like Crystal Gayle
Come back stage and ask for Harold, Phil, Don or Lou
And we'll see you auditioned for the Statler Brothers Revue...
This song is from the album "The Originals [Mercury]" and "30th Anniversary Celebration [Mercury]".