Sweeney Todd feat. Patti LuPone Lyrics
"The Worst Pies In London"

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Mrs. Lovett:
A customer!
Wait! What's yer rush? What's yer hurry?
You gave me such a—
Fright. I thought you was a ghost.

Half a minute, can'tcher?
Sit! Sit ye down!
Sit!
All I meant is that I
Haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague—
Ugh!
What is that?
But you'd think we had the plague—
From the way that people—
keep avoiding—
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale—
Right you are, sir. would you like a drop of ale?

Mind you, I can't hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London,
I know why nobody cares to take them—
I should know,
I make them.
But good? No,
The worst pies in London—
Even that's polite.
The worst pies in London—
If you doubt it take a bite.

Todd:
Ugh!

Mrs. Lovett:
Is that just, disgusting?
You have to concede it.
It's nothing but crusting—
Here drink this, you'll need it—
The worst pies in London—

And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
when you get it.
Never thought I'd live to see the day men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor
Animals
Wot are dying in the street.

Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop,
Does a business, but I notice something weird—
Lately, all her neighbors' cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her—
Wot I calls
Enterprise,
Popping pussies into pies.
Wouldn't do in my shop—
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick.
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick.

No denying times is hard, sir—
Even harder than
The worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more—
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty,
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like—
Well, pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London!

Ah sir,
Times is hard. Times is hard.

Todd: [Spoken]
Isn't that a room up there over the shop? If times are
so hard, why don't you rent it out? That should bring
in something.

Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
Up there? Oh, no one will go near it. People think
it's haunted. You see, years ago, something happened
up there. Something not very nice.
This song is from the album "Sweeney Todd (2005 Broadway Revival)".