Waddie Mitchell Lyrics
"The Whole Darn Load"

In a western town in the days of old
before the mines closed down for the lack of gold
The folks there seized an opportunity
And built themselves there a right smart community

They built 'em a school where the arts were taught
They built a church in a corner lot
And they painted her white
With a steeple high
to greet the town folks as they passed by

They had themselves a sheriff, a judge, and a mayor
but they need a preacher to make 'em square
so they sent back east as was the general rule
And hired 'em one from divinity school

Now when Sunday come he was all decked out
to preach a sermon, Whisper and shout
but when he stepped out to the podium
It was all too obvious that no one come

'cept one old cowboy in a pew out there
In his Sunday shirt and his greased down hair
He sat there quite and just watched the floor
with an occasional glance towards the church's door

Time stood still for the longest while
Till the preacher coughed and faked a smile
"I guess we could try again next week"
But emotion drained he could hardly speak
His demeanor was that of a scolded pup
He turned to leave when old Jake spoke up

"Now hold on preacher ain't your fault
And them there doors ain't like no vault
cause those doors ain't got no locks to keep folks out
And if you don't preach now Satan's won the bout"

"Now if I was to haul out a whole load of hay
And only one cow showed up, she'd still get fed that day"

Well now this preachin' man for the last few days
had found it hard to cope with these western ways
But he figured he'd found his call
From this profound man with his western drawl
So he fixed his collar and stood up straight
and began to expound on the pearly gates

He amazed himself of his own recall
of that book, chapter, verse and all
It was god almighty's omnipotent power that he lectured on
...
for over an hour
...
Then the wages of sin then the hell's brimfire
and he didn't weaken, And he didn't tire
He was jumpin and screaming and pounding the floor
When, well, he noticed Jake wasn't awake anymore

This made him mad. He stomped to the pew
He shook Jake's shoulder and he said "I worked through.
You're the one that told me about that cow gettin' fed
And now you're here acting like you're home in bed"

"You're right there preach about them things I told you
And if I had that load of hay it'd still be true
That cow would still would get fed
Tis the cow man's code
But I wouldn't feed her the whole dern load"