Valentine's Day Lyrics
"The Stepsister's Lament"

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Why would a fellow want a girl like her?
A frail and fluffy beauty?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer
A solid girl like me!

She's a frothy little bubble
With a flimsy kind of charm
And with very little trouble
I could break her little arm!

Oh why would a fellow want a girl like her?
So obviously unusual?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer
A usual girl like me!

Her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink,
But not any pinker than a rose's.
Her skin may be delicate and soft
But not any softer than a doe's is.

Her neck is no whiter than a swan's
She's only as dainty as a daisy
She's only as graceful as a bird...
So why is the fellow going crazy?

Oh why would a fellow want a girl like her,
A girl who's merely lovely?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer
A girl who's merely me!

She's a frothy little bubble
With a frilly sort of air
And with very little trouble
I could pull out all her hair! Ha ha ha ha!

Why would a fellow want a girl like her,
A girl who's merely lovely?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer
A girl who's merely me?

What's the matter with the man?
What's the matter with the man?
What's the matter with the man!