Television Personalities Lyrics
"Part One: Fulfilling The Contractual Obligations"

Part one: fulfilling the contractual obligations

Poor people dancing in shopping centres
Bargains galore on November and Sundays
Raining cabbages and church-like sales
Children with chainsaws and Catholic boutiques
Homemade desires and vegetable antiques

Part one: fulfilling the contractual obligation

Indian ice-cream parlour houses
Melancholy pussycats playing with mouses
Happy-go-lucky undertakers
Tree-lined bungalows marzipan-flavoured
Postmen toying with Lucozade fetishes
Policewomen laughing at the unemployed

Ecstasy houses for the hard of hearing
Muslim vicars like to get the beers in

Part one: fulfilling the contractual obligation

Lawnmowers dancing in a rude formation
Animated talks with bilingual Alsatian
Flying nuns shopping in DIY whorehouses

Part one: fulfilling the contractual obligation

The grand old queen of York
He had two hundred men
His case comes up in court on Tuesday morning

Ha! ha! ha! Part one: fulfilling the contractual obligation