Stephen Lynch Lyrics
"Superhero"

If I could be a superhero
I would be Awesome Man
I'd fly around the world
Fighting crime
According to my awesome plan
And if I saw crimnals trying to lie
Hurting other people and making them cry
I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van
'Cause I would be Awesome Man

If I could be a superhero
I would be Drug-Free Boy
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lifes they destroy
Well I'd take all the junkie
He's getting so high
With their needles and bongs
And their sticks made of tye
As I burned them alive
I would squeal with joy
'Cause I would be Drug-Free Boy

If I could be a superhero
I'd be Immigration Dude
I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes
For eating up all of our food
And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dish washing, picking our fruit
I'd pass alot of laws to get rid of their brute
'Cause I'd be Immigration Dude

If you could be a superhero
Would you be Justice Guy
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especially women who lie
Like if a wife left her husband
With three kids and no job
To run off to fuc*ing Hawaii
With some doctor named Bob
You could skin them and drain them of blood so they die
Especially Bob
Then you would be Justice Guy
Or you could be more subtle
I didn't mean to be vague
Give her the mad cow disease
Let him die of the plague
As long as they suffer for their terrible lie
Especially Bob
Then you would be Justice Guy

Yes then you would be
A superhero like me