Stephen Lynch Lyrics
"Kitten"

When the game of life makes you feel like quittin'.
It helps alot if you kill a kitten.
Mark my words, from where I'm sittin'.
You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.
There's no crime that you'll be commitin'
I know the law, you can kill a kitten.
And if you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
You'll get plenty when you kill a kitten.

Feed it turpentine
Or break its spine
Crush it with your shoe
As long as you...
Kill a kitten.
Meow! Kill a kitten.

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten.
She'll like you better when you kill a kitten.
And to quote the bible cause that's where it's written,
"If ye loveth Jesus, ye must kill a kitten."

Flush it down the can,
Hit it with your van,
Drown it in a lake,
Make a kitty cake.
Throw it at a train,
make it snort the cocaine.
Stick some TNT
Up it's cat bootie,
Do what you must do,
So long as you.
KILL A KITTEN!
Meow! Kill a kitten!
Killing kittens isn't easy,
And if the thought makes you queasy
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
And kill a puppy dog instead.
Kill a kitten.