Stephen Lynch Lyrics
"Fishn' Hole"
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Wanna have some quality time with my son,
so I brought him down to the fishin' hole.
Didn't like the feeling of that worm in his hand,
got mad, threw down his fishin' pole.
Said that's alright son, let's go and get an ice cream,
let you old man buy you a treat.
But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall,
started cryin' and ran into the street.
He's an asshole. My kid's and asshole.
I swear he just don't float my boat.
Always cryin', always cryin'.
Make me want to punch him in his little throat!
Call my lady to tell her what had happened
How our son had run away.
She said don't worry baby I will talk to him and everything will be okay.
My lady's an asshole
She's an asshole
Her assholeishness is off the charts.
Always perfect, always perfect.
Make me wanna punch her in her lady parts.
I decided I'd go down to the bar,
drown my sorrows in a beer.
But the sign outside said 'Closed for renovations'
We'll open up again next year.
That bar is an asshole.
It's an asshole
Oh the worst bar in the land.
Always closn', always closin'
Can't punch a bar cuz you'll hurt your hand.
I went home to forget about my troubles,
sat down in my favorite easy chair.
But I couldn't relax from the pain I was feelin'
as my hemmeroid began to flair.
My asshole's an asshole.
A real butthole.
Needs to put his asshole self in check.
Always burnin', always itchin'.
make me wanna punch him in his asshole neck.
Late one night, lying awake in bed,
a realization came.
Are there really assholes everywhere I look,
or am I the one to blame?
Maybe I just do not say the things I should say,
and I don't do the things I ought.
So I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror,
and this is what I thought:
The guy that sold me this mirror is and asshole.
He's an asshole.
Son of a bitch said it was antique.
He was lyin' he was lyin'.
Make me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek.
I'm on a real asshole streak!
I could open up an asshole boutique!
I think this song has reached it's peak!
Goodbye you assholes, see you next week!
so I brought him down to the fishin' hole.
Didn't like the feeling of that worm in his hand,
got mad, threw down his fishin' pole.
Said that's alright son, let's go and get an ice cream,
let you old man buy you a treat.
But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall,
started cryin' and ran into the street.
He's an asshole. My kid's and asshole.
I swear he just don't float my boat.
Always cryin', always cryin'.
Make me want to punch him in his little throat!
Call my lady to tell her what had happened
How our son had run away.
She said don't worry baby I will talk to him and everything will be okay.
My lady's an asshole
She's an asshole
Her assholeishness is off the charts.
Always perfect, always perfect.
Make me wanna punch her in her lady parts.
I decided I'd go down to the bar,
drown my sorrows in a beer.
But the sign outside said 'Closed for renovations'
We'll open up again next year.
That bar is an asshole.
It's an asshole
Oh the worst bar in the land.
Always closn', always closin'
Can't punch a bar cuz you'll hurt your hand.
I went home to forget about my troubles,
sat down in my favorite easy chair.
But I couldn't relax from the pain I was feelin'
as my hemmeroid began to flair.
My asshole's an asshole.
A real butthole.
Needs to put his asshole self in check.
Always burnin', always itchin'.
make me wanna punch him in his asshole neck.
Late one night, lying awake in bed,
a realization came.
Are there really assholes everywhere I look,
or am I the one to blame?
Maybe I just do not say the things I should say,
and I don't do the things I ought.
So I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror,
and this is what I thought:
The guy that sold me this mirror is and asshole.
He's an asshole.
Son of a bitch said it was antique.
He was lyin' he was lyin'.
Make me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek.
I'm on a real asshole streak!
I could open up an asshole boutique!
I think this song has reached it's peak!
Goodbye you assholes, see you next week!