Roger Miller Lyrics
"Best Of All Possible Worlds"

I was runnin' through the summer rain

Tryin' to catch that evenin' train

And kill that old familiar pain

Weavin' through my tangled brain

But when I tipped my bottle back

I smacked into a cop I didn't see

That policeman said, "Mr. Cool

If you're ain't drunk then you're a fool"

I said, "Well, if that's against the law

Then tell me why I never saw

A man locked in that jail of yours

That wouldn't just as lowdown poor as me"

Well, that was when someone turned out the lights

And I wound up in jail to spend the night

And dream of all the wine and lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds

Well, I woke up next morning

Feelin' like my head was gone

And like my thick old tongue

Was lickin' somethin' sick and long

And I told that man I'd sell my soul

For somethin' wet and cold in that old cell

Well, that kindly jailer just grinned at me

All eaten up with sympathy

Then he poured himself another beer

And he came and whispered in my ear

That booze was just a dime a bottle

Boy, you couldn't even buy the smell

I said, "I knew there was somethin' I liked bout this town

But it takes more than that to bring me down, down, down, down"

But there's a lot of wine and lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds

Well, they finally came and they told me

They was a gonna set me free

And that I'd be leavin' town

If I knew what was good for me

I said, "It's nice to learn that everybody's

So concerned about my health"

I said, "I won't be leavin' no more

Quicker than I fastly can

'Cause I've enjoyed about

As much of this as I can stand

And I don't need this town of yours more

Than I never needed nothin' else"

'Cause there's still a lot of drinks that I ain't drunk

And there's lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thought, oh yeah

And Lord, there's still so many lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds

Well, step right up to the wild [Incomprehensible]

[Incomprehensible] to the young

Step back, step back [Incomprehensible]

[Incomprehensible]