Ray Stevens Lyrics
"The Ballad Of The Blue Cyclone (The End?)"

Blue Cyclone

I woke up in a hospital bed
Stars a-circlin' around my head
And a plaster cast on just about every bone

But the doctor said I'd be just fine
"These things just take a little time..."
And three weeks later, he let me go back home

But I laid in bed three weeks just thinkin'
"I believe I coulda took him if I hadn't been drinkin'
So the next time we meet, I won't be on no binge

"Cause I hadn't been the same since we had that fight
And I'd see that Cyclone in my dreams at night
And I won't be satisfied 'til I get revenge..."

Well, the first thing my wife said when I got home
Was, "You'd better leave that Cyclone alone"
She said, "You might not be so lucky next time."

So, I says to her, "Beg your pardon, ma'am
But it wasn't YOU who got the body slam,"
Then I changed the subject, 'cause I done made up my mind

Then I called up Bill and told him my plan
And all he said was, "Right on, man!
I'd do the same durn thing if it'd been me

It all happened so quick when that car door slammed
It musta broke something, 'cause the door locks jammed
You was already down, he's gone time I got free."

Bill said, "Since yer thinkin' 'bout takin' him again
I know two ol' boys who weigh 210
They'd wade through hell just to fight a circle saw

They both lift weights, so you know they're mean
And the four of us would make a heck of a team
We might not win, but we'd durn-sure fight to a draw."

Well, we talked it over, they said they's willin'
They'd stop at nothing, short of killin'
Said "Hoss, we'll back you as long as you wanna fight."

So I checked around at a few of the bars
And found out where all the wrasslin' stars
Hung out after the matches every Wednesday night

Well, I got there early the following week
And found me a table where I could see the street
And waited for the Blue Cyclone to hit the door

Well, after a while, he finally appeared
Sat down at the bar, and ordered a beer
And he barely took a sip 'fore I stepped to the middle of the floor

I yelled, "Hey Cyclone! Remember me?
I'm the guy you put to sleep
Only this time, you can see I'm not alone. Ha ha

You see them two big dudes over there?"
The Cyclone looked and said, "Over where?"
And I turned around, and I'm a son of a gun, they was gone!

Then the Cyclone looked at me and grinned
And he said, "Okay punk, here we go again
It seems to me that some guys never learn."

And then he waded through them tables and chairs
Put a full-nelson on me, and grabbed my hair
And when he threw me to the floor, I was starting to get concerned

Then came a birrage of judo chops
And I was beggin' somebody to call the cops
Before the Cyclone could commit a mortal crime

I sure breathed a sigh of relief
When I heard them ambulance sirens scream
'Cause I'd be dead now, if they hadn't gotten there on time

The next thing I remember, they was carryin' me in
And the doctor said, "Oh no, you again?"
I said, "Doctor, how long you thing it'll be this time?"

He said, "Boy, if you don't leave that Cyclone alone
One of these days, you ain't goin' home!
You'll need the undertaker's services, not mine."

Blue Cyclone
He's the meanest rascal the ring has ever known
He'll make you groan, he'll make you moan
He'll lay you prone and break your bones
Blue Cyclone
The Blue Cyclone