Rachel Arieff and The Smileytown Boys Lyrics
"Have A Baby!"

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Listen up sisters I've got some cheerful news
About what to do if you get caught with the blues.
So if you're lost inside your life
And you're still nobody's wife
And you've got no education
And no self-estimation
And you can't afford a new pair of shoes
Here's one thing you can do:
Have a baby.
Have a baby.
It's easy and fun!
Have a baby.
Go on, try one.
I used to think that there was nothing I could do.
I couldn't sign my name, and I couldn't add 2 plus 2.
But then behind the dumpsters at the Pancake House
This guy I was banging forgot to pull out
And nine months later --UNGH!
There was no doubt
That someone was the daddy of my
Brand new Baby!
A brand new baby.
Still has no name...
A brand new baby.
Grandma takes care of him!

Now just 'cause I'm a mommy, don't think
I never have no fun.
She has a ton
I like to go on benders like a sailor
during World War I.
But you know how you wake up
in some stranger's dive
And you can't remember where you parked
your car last night?
Well now I always find my car, 'cause
guess what I left inside?
Sleeping in the back seat...
My little baby.
My little baby.
Beacon of hope
My little baby.
Watches my back
One day we'll party together.

Well my baby's been the most exciting
chapter of my life.
Except for when I held up that AM/PM with a knife.
So if you're seeing 22 different guys
And you just got another DWI
And the most nutritious food that you eat is Spam
And you've still got relatives in the Klan
And the State took your other 10 kids away...
Girl, what else can I say?
Have more babies!

Have more babies!
Keep them like pets
Have more babies!
'Cause sometimes they die
And you gotta have some extras.