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Nickelodeon lyrics - Better Than No One (Ren & Stimpy)


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Ren: "Steempy! What's all that racket about?" 
Stimpy: "I'm tap-dancing, Ren! Pretty good, huh?" 
Ren: "Eet just sounds like noise to me! And you look even more stupeed than usual!" 
Stimpy: "Oh, pshaw! Tap-dancing is fun, Ren! Why don't you join me?" 
Ren: "Oh no, I'm no eediot." 
Stimpy: "Oh c'mon! No one will ever see you." 
Ren: "No way!" 
Stimpy: "Just put these shoes on, and move your feet..." 
Ren: "BACK OFF, MAN!! I can do it..." 
Stimpy: "Now, don't you feel better?" 
Ren: "Heeeey, thees eez fun! You're right, Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you." 
Stimpy: "Think nothin' of it, buddy! Pal! 

It's really great to have a chum 
Who's kind and caring and lots of fun. 
He slaps me around when I feel blue; 
Only a pal would do that for you. 
His name is Ren 
And when it comes to a friend, 
No one is better. 

Your turn, pal!" 
Ren: Ah, okay, bud--AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! You eediot! If you're going to tap-dance, do it on your own two feet!" 
Stimpy: "Whoops." 

Ren: "He's really fat, [Stimpy burps] but I admit," 
Stimpy: (What's that, Ren?) 
Ren: "He's not so dumb..." 
Stimpy: (Joy!) 
Ren: "...For an eediot! 
I hate the smell of his stinky leeter box 
And when he fills me to my stay-put socks. 
He's lost his mind 
But when I'm een a bind, 
He's better than no one. 

Would you wanna comb my hair?" 
Stimpy: "With glee!" 
Ren: "Would you shave my tongue?" 
Stimpy: "For free!" 
Ren: "Would you flense my spleen?" 
Stimpy: "Whoopee!" 
Both: "You're the friend for me!" 

Ren: "My friend to the end," 
Stimpy: (That's me! That's me!) 
Ren: "Which I hope is soon," 
Stimpy: (He hopes is soon!) 
Ren: "Has a head full of air" 
Stimpy: (A head full of air?) 
Ren: "Like a red balloon!" 
Stimpy: "A balloon-head? Wow! What a great thing to be! 
You always say the nicest things to me!" 
Ren: "You're a fool!" 
Stimpy: "But I think you're cool! 
No one is better. 

Would you tell me a story?" 
Ren: "No way!" 
Stimpy: "Would you pick my nose?" 
Ren: "For pay..." 
Stimpy: "Would you scratch my back?" 
Ren: "No!" 
Stimpy: "Pluck my brows?" 
Ren: "No!!" 
Stimpy: "Clean my box?" 
Ren: [screams] 
Stimpy: "Lick my fur?" 

Ren: "All right, Stimpy! THAT'S EET! I've had enough of your stUUUUpid questions! The answer is NO! No, I tell you! A thousand times, NOOOO!!!!" 
Stimpy: "Oh, just asking!" 

Ren: "We're opposites by nature." 
Stimpy: "He's a dog, and I-I'm a cat! I think." 
Ren: "But put us both together..." 
Stimpy: "And we're a purr-fect match!" 
Ren: "Shut up!" 
Stimpy: "Yes, sir! I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do!" 
Ren: "Aw, somebody's got to think for you. 
You may be a dud, 
But when I need a bud, 
You're better than no one." 

Stimpy: "No one is better!" 
Ren: "You're better than..." 
Stimpy: "No one is..." 
Ren: "Better than..." 
Stimpy: "No one..." 
Both: "No one... is better."