Liza Minnelli Lyrics
"Ring Them Bells"

Gather around
I got a story to tell
About a Manhattan lady
That I know very well
She lives a 5 Riverside
Her name is Shirley Devore
And she travelled 'round the world
To meet the guy next door

Well there was trouble inside
Apartment 29 E
And Shirley's mother and dad
Were as upset as can be
They said, "We hate to complain, dear.
And we don't like to grouse.
But you're nearly 32,
You should get out of the house!"

You gotta ring them bells
You gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing
And really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing
To hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring... them... bells!

Well Shirley was 31
Which she had loathed to admit
And she had never been loved
Which didn't thrill her a bit
And so she sat and she thought
She thought for hours on end
She said, "I'll go to Chase Manhattan
Where I got me a friend!"

And so she borrowed a thou'
And called TWA
And told her mother and dad
That she was up and away
"I'm gonna travel the continent
A month, maybe two
And haul me home a huz
If it's the last thing I do!" (giggles)

You gotta ring them bells
You gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing
And really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing
To hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring... them... bells!

She met a Londoner first
But they did not hit it off
'Cause every time she approached,
He got a bronchial cough
And so she went to Madrid
And met a handsome señor
But he liked to throw the bull
And he was no matador

She also bombed out in Brussels,
In Majorca, and Rome
'Til someone said,
"Try Dubrovnik, dear
Before you go home
'Cause it's the kind of a town
Where you'll be likely to fall
And all the toni Cognoscenti
Find the Balkans a ball!"

You gotta ring them bells
You gotta ring them bells
Yo gotta make 'em sing
And really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing
To hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring... them... bells!

And so she went to Dubrovnik
And the very first day,
She met a guy on the beach
Who took her reason away
Yes, it was love at first sight
And quite a beautiful scene
She said, "My name is Shirl Devore."
He said, "I'm Norm Sapperstein."
She said, "Are you from New York?"
He said, "That can't be denied.
I got a swell junior three
At number 5 Riverside."

[Liza speaking]
5?! 5 Riverside Drive in New York?!
That's where you live?
That-that's where I live!
5?! Are you sure?

As if that wasn't enough
Poor Shirley thought she'd gone deaf
When he told her his apartment there
Was 29 F!

Yes, she was E, he was F
And they had not even met
Until she travelled the world
To Yugoslavia yet
He'd always been right next door
And she would never have known
If she hadn't tried Dubrovnik,
She might still be alone!

Well... there's... a...
Moral to learn
From little Shirley Devore
Who had to borrow a thou'
To find a lover next door
You girls who live in apartments
Don't just stare at the wall!
Open up the door
And hurry out in the hall!
And...

Ring them bells!
Come on, come on!
Ring them bells!
Make 'em sing!
And really ring them bells!
It's such a happy thing
To hear 'em ting-a-ling!
You gotta swing them!
Ring them!
Swing them!
Ring... them... bells!!