Larry the Cable Guy Lyrics
"Twisted Christmas Carols"

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These are famous Christmas Carols I know it aint Christmas
but i'm goin to do these Christmas carols these is
good american patriotic christmas carols and god bless
america and thanks for comin so:

Get a job you bum bum bum
Money don't grow on trees you bum bum bum.

Silent farts
Deadly farts
All was calm
Not fer long

Oh come on illegal foreigners
Come and get dem green cards
And learn some damn english
And den how to drive

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car
I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car
I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

So I don't have to hear her
Bitch

Blue balls
Blue balls
Its dollar night at the titty club
See them dance, on my pants
Soon it will be bathroom time

You better watch out, I think she's a guy
I aint quite sure but somethin aint right
Hilary Clinton's comin to town

Donny the Retard had an eight pound water head
He was five-foot three
And he said to me
My name's Donny

The first queer Santa Claus
Wore red-leather chaps
And a pair of white shorty-shorts that had a hole in the back

I pissed my pants
The toilet was just too far
I drunk too much damn beer
I tried to hold it in
But my bladder just gave in
And i pissed right through my drawers
Right through my Wrangler drawers
I pissed, I pissed my Wrangler drawers

Git r dun everybody! Thanks a lot! come back and see me again Thank you!