Josh Martinez Lyrics
"Breakdown"

I don't even know why I'm doing this song
And i don't even know how i feel anymore.

I can't count how many times i've been the last one laughing.
The joke is one me cause see i keep crashing.
My life is changing, really weird being here and there
on airplane flights and fighting long distance late nights
doing double duty to a girl i've loved and lived for,
thinking forever lasts a lot less long than i had planned on.
immortal is love life isn't just a nice portal we go leaping through
we are hurtled into i dig through dumpsters and rifle through the scraps,
My spirit is starving, i am sapped...
I just wanted walk my thoughts off and drink a cup of coffee.
It seems like i can't sleep anyway.
What am i doing here my attention span demands attention
They pay me no mind for i'm the mother of invention.
They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
But i'm sure my intentions weren't pure
In fact, they acted so brazen
as to force me to leave this safe haven.
And now i'm out in the storm having cut off my escape route
I slid through slung mud in a make shift rain suit.
I was soaking wet and dragged myself up from the bottom,
I was shocked by cupid's rocket chased him down until i caught him,
Grabbed the gimpy imp in diaper rashly used his quiver quickly
to unload a loving load until i started to feel sickly.
I was head over high heels in love with my wheels and my girly,
The road came calling but she left early now i've fallen into worldly thought,
I can't stop thinking, i just hope i don't get caught.

I break anything

So I broke it off because I break everything.
File our love next to abstract art.
I know I don't support your dreams but i don't mean to be so selfish,
It's that i'm overwhelmed by currents of assurance still i'm helplessly hoping
someone else will help the coping.
To be open is an artform. i'm feeling closed
In mostly apart from where we came from is part of whose to blame
There's really nothing nobody can do to ease the pain.
I'm feeling freezing rain drops rattle rusted rooftops
I'm hiding under cover until i hear the truth stops leaking
When another loose lip beacons and gossips start speaking in tongues
There's not a decent sole among the young ones
Who had just gathered in rapture to pay homage to the capture of their master.
We made ship to shore communication
You are my first true love but i've lost patience.
With the endless way we let our independence sway
A tendency to say i need my space so please go away.
Later on change is on the other side let it slide
Better be hiding the good vibing i'm feeling
When not stealing light from your likeness.
But like or it not you let the first shot go
And invited the first thoughts of might we be so tired
As to be beyond the first aid our state required.

You can't bandage neglected effort or put bandaids on baskets
No longer filled with joy now employed as caskets.
Yes the love is dead, no the love remains
Nothing stains the soul as much as what the whole contains,
when dumped down on this ground below,
It spread slow at first then emersed the whole town in its undertow,
We can't grow in salt water cry the pretty girls,
Neither can the flowers bloom when you entomb your rose petals
and cry death to those so settled in they ways
They've laid down their arms and given up their glory days.
Shortly before i walk out this door
I take a last look back and still i'm not sure..
I've been a b-minus boyfriend whose character was doubted
who in every fight we had raised my voice and found i shouted
better when i didn't have to say a single thing at all,
But if i strive to keep my silence it'll be a lonely fall.
But if i speak up now and raise my voice above the crowd noise,
She'll only hear me hollaring, she won't feel my footsteps.
And following her shoes that breakdance and exude balance.
I see a real amazing girl with an endless list of talents.
That's why i'm challenging myself to grow up and spread out,
If it's meant to be then it's meant to be
Gently left alone to work itself out...i just need more time.

F*ck I don't even wanna do this anymore
The phone calls, Back and forth
Hello, I'm lost
Hello, I'm found
Hello, I want you back
Goodbye, I'm on myself again
Really tired of being lonely
Get out of my way
I broke it off because i break everything
Everything I touch turns to dust
Why, Why would I wanna touch anything?