Flanders & Swann Lyrics
"Gas Man Cometh, The"

This song is a ballad about ending domestic upheaval.
I'm sure you've all had something of the same experience, it's called:
'The gas man cometh'.

'Twas on the Monday morning
The gasman came to call
The gas tap wouldn't turn
I wasn't getting gas at all
He tore out all the skirting boards
To try and find the main
And I had to call the carpenter to put them back again
Oh, it all makes work
For the working man to do

'Twas on the Tuesday morning
The carpenter came round
He hammered and he chiselled and said
Look what I've found
Your joists are full of dry-rot
Though I'll put them all to rights
And he nailed right though a cable, (pop)
And out went all the lights
Oh, it all makes work
For the working man to do

'Twas on the Wednesday morning
The electrician came
He called me Mr Sanderson
Which isn't quite me name
He couldn't reach the fuse-box
Without standing on the bin
And his foot went through a window
So I called the glazier in
Oh, it all makes work
For the working man to do

'Twas on the Thursday morning
The glazier came along
With his blowtorch and his putty
And his merry glazier song
He put another pane in
It took no time at all
But I had to get a painter in
To come and paint the wall
Oh, it all makes work
For the working man to do

'Twas on a Friday morning
The painter made a start
With undercoats, and overcoats
He painted every part
Every nook and every cranny
But I found when he was gone
He'd painted over the gas tap
And I couldn't turn it on
Oh, it all makes work
For the working man to do

On Saturday and Sunday
They do no work at all
So 'twas on the Monday morning
That the gasman came to call