Deirdre Flint Lyrics
"The Boob Fairy"

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When I was in my teenage years,
I did just what I should
I listened to my mother
and I was kind and sweet and good

And my friends and I did rituals
and I prayed with all my might
That this would be the evening
that she'd stop along her flight

Well, that was several years ago
and that chick's long overdue
And it's time I came to terms
with something plainly clear to you.

The boob fairy never came for me
No, the boob fairy never came for me
Okay, I'm spunky and I'm cute
and I've got a great personality
But the boob fairy never came for me

Well, we were the third house on a country drive,
I thought maybe she just got lost,
so I hung my bra on the mailbox
Til the neighbors took it off

And all my friends got visits
and expanded through the years
And left me wailing to the gods
buying training bras at Sears

Still I harbor hopes, she'll come for me,
I know she will
I'd get 'em done myself
if she'd agree to fit the bill

The boob fairy never came for me
No the boob fairy never came for me
Look, I wasn't wanting melons,
just a cute curvaceous "B"
But the boob fairy never came for me.

This isn't a song about boobs. Not really.
The boobs are just a set of metaphors
to symbolize everyone's fear of human inadequacy.
Hey! We've all felt the pain of being dissed
by one fairy or another,
so during the next refrain I want you to join in
with your own fairy that never paid a call.
Maybe it's the height fairy or the butt nymph.
Men, maybe it's the pectoral or hair fairy
or maybe some other fairy you just want to mumble about.
Look, nobody's going to ask you to enunciate.
And sisters,
I don't want you feeling alienated
because you happen to be full-figured.
Just change the line to the boob fairy wouldn't let me be
or the boob fairy became obsessed with me.
Okay, here comes the refrain.
Everybody join in.

The boob fairy never came for me
No the boob fairy never came for me
Though the hip fairy came two times
and the thigh fairy came three
The boob fairy never came for me.
This song is from the album "The Shuffleboard Queens".