Cledus T. Judd Lyrics
"Cledus Went Down To Florida"

Cletus went down to Florida
he was looking for a car to steal
he was in a bind, ten payments behind
so the bank repo'd his wheels
when he came across this old man
down at Jalopy's used car lot
then Cletus jumped up on top of one and said
"Fella's let tell you what"

I'm not gonna be proud of the deed i'm bout to do
with no time to spare, gotta be somewhere
so i'm gonna steal a car from you
now i've seen your selection here
and I admit the pickens are few
I know the Pinto's old but consider it stole
cause I gotta show to do

The man said "my name's Jalopy"
as he gave an evil grin
cause he knew that car
wouldn't get to far
before the motor blew up again

Cletus, you better hit the road
if your gonna be a star
the shows way up in Georgia
and your openin up for Garth
your future ridin on this shiny Pinto painted gold
and if your late, it's Jeff Foxworthy's show

Cletus said no way in heck you gonna
open up that show
then fire blew from the manifold
as the front right tire blowed
he pushed that wreck across the street
and man was cletud tissed

he tried and tried to start her up
but sounded something like this

(c'mon c'mon oh gosh, i'm in a mess
what am i gonna do
my one big shot with Garth Brooks)

When Cletus open'd up the hood he said
well i'll be a son of a gun
and it didn't take long to figure out
that the wreck wouldn't run

Fire from the engine, lots of smoke
he can already here them redneck jokes
dang blang oil pan laying in the road
will he make the show, no heck no

(whistles)
Taxi, greyhound, yeller cab, somebody
I'll show him a redneck
he'll have a redneck
when i get my hands around his throat
i'm sick of it

Cletus shook his head
as he watched Foxworthy show
and he joked about how he passed a burnt gold pinto
later on garth told cletus
you'll never get the chance again
as he gave the check to that darn redneck
who drove a mercedes benz

He said hey big guy before i go
would you like to hear another redneck joke
did you know i got my own tv show
well does anybody watch it, no heck no

You might be a redneck if
your mommy n daddy catches you out behind the barn
rippin Jeff Foxworthy for talkin bout rednecks all the time
aww shoot, I'm jus' kiddin Jeff, i wish i could be your best friend
do you like me, i would love to be on your tv show
come here to me