Brobdingnagian Bards Lyrics
"Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues"

Old Bilbo found a ring
It was the one ring of the Dark Lord
Old Bilbo found a ring
It was the one ring of the Dark Lord
Now I'm hunted by a schizo
Called Smeagol or Gollum hes out of his gourd

Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away
Yeah, Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away
Now he's leading my to Mordor, wonders if Sam and I are gay

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
And if Smeagol don't betray me
The Dark Lord'll make Headline News

At the Gates of Mordor Smeagol said "They ain't now way"
[They ain't no way my precious-s-s]
At the Gates of Mordor Smeagol said "They ain't now way"
[Silly hobbits-s-s, Follow Smeagol]
Said, "I'll take you to Shelob, She'll have a hobbit filet"

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
And if Smeagol don't betray me
Sauron'll make the hobbits wear shoes

Well, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked
[Out of my mind!]
Yeah, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked
[Man, I don't know what I was thinking?!]
So Gollum bit the ring off, and did a Swan dive in the Crack

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
And if Smeagol don't betray me
Middle-Earth'll sing The Dark Lord Blues

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schizophrenic Gollum Blues
And if Gollum'll just betray me
I'll fially take that Elven Cruise