Bargain Music Lyrics
"My Gay Friend"

Now all I need is a topic
I'm turning off my phone
Last time I was singing my phone went off and it bummed me out

Well I've got a friend
And he's
Got a problem
With himself
Well ever since
We all wondered why he never brought any ladies around
We started thinking

Well my friends gay
And he won't come out of the closet
And it's alright
For my friend to be gay
Well I've known him a long time
And he hasn't had too many dates
I think I put one and one together and came up with two

Well my friends gay
And he's not secure with himself
He won't just come out and say hey
I'm queer
Ever since the parade
When we all turned away
And he stayed I knew
He was gay
But it's alright if he doesn't want to hang out with the girls
It's okay to be gay

We went out on the boat
And he asked me
To get some sunscreen
And I said no
I'm a little scared
Why don't you ask pam or sally or tina
For the sunscreen
Not me
Not me

Well on a rainy day
It's still okay to be gay
You can come out of the closet
You can live life your own way
But sometimes
When you're hiding from yourself
You're your worst
Enemy

Well my gay friend just fucking can't admit
He's been hiding it for years and he can't live with it
So he started doing crank
And he went downhill
And all he had to say was I'm gay
Thank you

That's a true story
(Little self portrait by zippy)
He still hasn't come out of the closet yet but I hope he will
(You know what psychiatrists say)
Well they say usuaully that your checks aren't clearing
and you can't come anymore
(You know my psychiatrist)
Um, what's her name again
(Mom)
Alright are you gonna keep doing this to me
(Yup)
Ok
(Let me think of another progression)